When I was twelve years old, I spent a magical holiday in the American Southwest with my mother, two brothers, and an uncle. During that two-week holiday in October, I had a life-changing encounter with a crow (or perhaps a raven), discovered the coolest bookshop ever, and watched as two young women from California got to experience snow for the first time.
I’ll never forget their excitement at seeing something that to me was just an ordinary part of winter, but to them was wondrous and sacred.
It reminded me of a story my dad told me while I was growing up. He grew up in Australia but moved to the USA for university, fell in love with my mother, and stayed. They were living in Kansas City at the time and there was a tornado warning. My parents shared a house with another couple, a man from New Zealand and an American woman from the Midwest like my mother.
The sky was a vicious shade of greenish grey, the wind was unbelievably loud, and my mother and the other American woman did what one does when a tornado is possibly about to uproot your home. That is, they sought shelter in the basement of the house. The Aussie and the Kiwi on the other hand, ran to the front porch to watch this incredible force of nature, all while their loves screamed at them to seek shelter.
I’m here today, so obviously they survived. And later my dad told me it was one of the most incredible things he had ever experienced. There was this painfully loud noise and then suddenly, nothing. Silence. But an empty silence. An eerie silence. It was as if they had entered the void.
That day, my dad looked up into the great whooshing whirlwind of a tornado. He looked it right in its eye. My dad and his friend saw the eye of the tornado and lived to tell the tale.
Right now, I feel like I am in the middle of a tornado. There’s been nonstop craziness and misfortune in my life since early summer. Loved ones ill, loved ones dead or dying, my own illness, trying to homeschool my child whilst also trying to run three different businesses whilst also trying to pursue my vocation (writing).
The past two weeks I’ve filled out countless job applications whilst also baking bread, homeschooling my child, writing, doing work on three different businesses (two online shops and my tarot reading services) all while being dreadfully ill with a chronic sinus infection that is an annoying symptom of my tick-borne illness.
I’m overwhelmed with trying to do so much and not making much progress and yet as the tornado rips through my life, I find myself staring unflinchingly into its eye. There’s this quiet calm that I can sense.
I try to reach my dad through the veil to ask his advice, but he is silent. Samhain is still a ways off after all. But he’s always with me in my memories of him. In his stories. His stories tell me that I can get through this storm. That I can look at it with wonder and awe and see the quiet center.
And I do see the very seed of a new beginning. My little poetry book is doing better than I expected (it reached the #1 new release in specific places category on Amazon earlier today and was so close to being in the top 100 in women’s poetry — I never anticipated this). Also, I have poems in two forthcoming anthologies.
These small, but to me satisfying, successes in my writing life do seem the seed of a new beginning, but it’s more a feeling of something on its way. Something I can’t yet see but will help me get through this difficult time.
You can see why I barely read anything this month but as I’d like to continue with my end of month reading updates here is what I did read in September:
The Ten Thousand Doors of January. I read this for #girlsinwhitedressesbookclub. It was a beautiful book, and it was one of those times in which I read the right book at the right time. I don’t know how many times I tried reading this book before and just couldn’t get into it, but this time I devoured it. I wouldn’t say I adored it. It didn’t make it to my favorite books of all-time list. But I did appreciate the beauty of the writing and certain characters and their stories spoke to my heart. There are things I wish had been different about the book. Overall, it’s a 4 out of 5 star read!
Pride and Prejudice. This was a reread for me. I think I started it in August, but I finished it this month. What can I say that hasn’t already been said? I love this book. Just not as much as Emma. Still, it’s a 5 out of 5 for me.
The 4:50 From Paddington. I read this for the #readmorechristie book challenge and #emmasbookishcorner challenge. The prompt for #emmasbookishcorner challenge was to read a book by Agatha Christie, and for #readmorechristie was to read one of her books featuring a female adventurer. I thought this one was perfect as you could consider there to be THREE female adventures in this book. The first is Mrs. McGillicuddy who witnessed the murder and tried to do something about it. The second is Jane Marple who heard about the murder from her friend, Mrs. McGillicuddy. And the third is Lucy Eyelesbarrow who Jane Marple enlists to help her find the body and solve the murder. I read this once (or twice) before and though I was fairly certain I remembered what happened it was still an enjoyable read. Definitely at least a 4 out of 5 star read.
What did you read this month? Did you find a new favorite?
I'm so happy to hear how well True North did on Amazon! I got a Kindle copy myself and I can't wait to read it. All of your September reads sound lovely. The Ten Thousand Doors of January has been on my tbr for the longest time too, and I absolutely adore Jane Austen! I've been listening to Sense and Sensibility while I'm in the kitchen or working on a sewing project. Jane's wit always makes any task more enjoyable. I would have to say my favorite reads of this month are the last three Sevenwaters books by Juliet Marillier. I'm in love with the whole series! It's full of fairy tale heroines, Irish mythology, selkies, fae, changelings, and such sweet and tender romance, too.
Oh my, what a tornado story!!
I love your understanding of the eye of the tornado in your own life, though I’m grieved you’ve seen it. I’m glad it’s blowing over for you.
One book I loved this month was Austenland. It was just the lighthearted romance I needed.