“Your heart is full of fertile seeds, waiting to sprout.” Morihei Ueshiba
I was a calm and patient child, at least outwardly so. As a middle child with an active and independent older brother and a clingy and demanding younger brother, and as someone who is naturally quiet and introspective, I spent years going with the flow instead of voicing my own wants and desires. Even so, my vivid imagination helped me to envision the life I wanted. I just didn’t always discuss my future plans with anyone. But they were there. Dreams of a cottage by the sea where I would brew potions and cast spells for those in need of a magical boost. Dreams of a perfect writing desk in front of a large window overlooking a cottage garden. Dreams of a magical community of fellow creatives and witches.
And yet, as much as I have planned and worked hard to achieve my goals there have been periods in my life in which no matter how much I try to set things in motion the universe laughs at me and forces me to a complete standstill. This is my current reality lately. Nothing is going right. Obstacles meet me at every turn. It feels like trying to run through mud and being forced to crawl only to finally freeze in place.
When met with obstacles, I tend to turn to my tarot cards for advice. My recent reading was about the action I can take to move forward finally. And, oh, let me tell you, the universe certainly has a sense of humor. My two cards were the hanged man and the wheel of fortune. For those of you unfamiliar with tarot, the reading was basically telling me that instead of taking action I must surrender and allow time and chance to have an effect.
Joseph Campbell once said, “We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.”
There is great courage in surrendering to the unknown and accepting your life for what it is rather than what it can be. But I also think it is brave to continue to cling to a desire that calls to your soul — to know your life’s purpose and continue to stubbornly pursue it even when the universe is telling you to give up.
As a writer, I am fortunate to possess an active imagination. Part of the reason I had trouble choosing a vocation when I was younger was because I could see many different paths. The limitless possibilities enticed me, and I had trouble settling and choosing a way forward. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized the one thing I do when I don’t have to do anything is write. I’ve been a writer ever since I was old enough to hold a pen and form letters. I will continue to write even if my words don’t reach many people — even if I’m the only person to read my mad midnight scribblings.
It’s my imagination and ability to see different perspectives that has saved me during the low points in life. When forced to wait, why not daydream? And by daydream, I don’t mean replaying anxious thoughts and scenarios. I mean the pleasant, creative, actively imagining the way your life could be kind of daydreams.
There is a kind of magic that happens when we daydream. When we can involve all of our senses and truly feel present in the life we imagine, that’s when the wheel turns and things begin to shift. So, while I’m at a standstill I will continue to work on my writing projects. And I will actively envision the life I am trying to create. I invite you to try this the next time you feel stuck and need to pass the time while you wait for the river to flow once more. Even better, record your daydreams in a journal. Over time you might note how many of them come true.
Have an enchanting day!
Bio: Caitlin Gemmell is a poet, novelist, and witch. Her poems have been featured in publications such as Rue Scribe, One Sentence Poems, and Minison Project Zine. She the author of Spinning Hair Into Gold. Her forthcoming poetry book, True North, is available to preorder and will release on September 22. Connect with her on Instagram @icapturethestory.
You're a wonderful and obviously talented writer in addition to being a beautiful and caring person. Love following you and always look forward to reading your thoughts and musings.